Ravens and Riddles
by too-much-like-Luna
Summary: When Harry was young, he sat at a table and had tea with a dog, a wolf and a dark-haired man. Now they're fighting a war. Or, in which Harry is Alice, Snape is the Mad Hatter, and Sirius and Remus fill in for the rabbit.
1. Sad But True

**Title: **Ravens and Riddles

**Fandom: **Harry Potter (fusion with Alice in Wonderland)

**Warnings: **implied child abuse

**Pairings: **Harry/Snape, implied past Voldemort/Dumbledore and Snape/Lucius

**Summary: **When Harry was young, he sat at a table and had tea with a dog and a wolf and a dark-haired man. Now they're fighting a war. Fusion with Alice in Wonderland.

**Notes: **A while ago I was talking with pineapplepeople about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, and in the same email started to talk about Snarry. This happened. Blame her.

Some, if not all, of the parts will have subtitles stolen shamelessly from songs.

**EDIT: **Now with breaks where they should be

**Sad but True**

The first time Harry visits the place he calls Wonderland, he is six and bleeding.

He lands amid a flurry of skirts, and women scream and clutch at their chests before one approaches him.

"Oh, you poor thing," she says, and Harry only lets her touch him because he knows that Aunt Petunia would not be able to bear even _looking_ at the dress the woman is wearing, outrageously flamboyant as it is.

They care for him there, bandage his wounds, dress him, feed him.

He is always aware that he is dreaming.

* * *

><p>He has tea, the next time he is there. He sits at a large table on a large chair, and sips from a large cup, reveling in the experience as only a ten year old can. He talks to a wolf, laughs along with a dog.<p>

A man sits at the opposite side of the table. He watches Harry with his black eyes and does not speak to him.

"I am a window, I am a lamp, I am clouded, I am shinning and I am coloured, set in white. I fill with water and overflow. I say much, but I have no words. What am I?" the wolf asks.

"A curtain!" pipes up the dog, and the wolf pretends not to hear.

"I... I don't know," says Harry, shame bringing a blush to his cheeks. "Sorry," he says, and lowers his head.

"Severus?" the wolf asks cheerfully.

The man at the other end of the table does not remove his eyes from Harry's face as he answers, and timidly Harry raises his eyes to the man. "An eye," Severus answers, and his voice makes Harry shiver right down to his toes.

* * *

><p>Harry visits Underland many times and only once he has turned twelve does something change their routine.<p>

"Severus," the wolf whispers. "Severus. He's coming, the Red Knight!"

Severus starts, his eyes moving away from their habitual resting place on Harry's face. He nods sharply at the wolf and dog, and they immediately slouch in their seats, faces oddly slack.

Severus meets Harry's eyes once more, face grim. "Be quiet and still," he says, and then a man is riding into the clearing and swinging himself down from the horse. "Severus," he drawls as he swaggers toward the table.

"Lucius," Severus acknowledges, and the man, Lucius, turns his eyes to regard the two animals at the table.

"And your band of lunatics. How lovely." The dog grins at him, teeth bared. Lucius turns toward Harry. His eyes widen.

"Why Severus, I don't believe I've meet your new acquaintance."

Severus will not look at Harry. He keeps his eyes carefully averted as he answers Lucius. "Lucius, meet Harry."

Lucius smiles, but it sends shivers down Harry's spine, and he turns his eyes to Severus for guidance.

Lucius spins a chair to face Severus and sits down on it. "Such...interesting acquaintances you're keeping these days, Severus," he purrs, sliding a finger down from Severus' forehead and across his cheek.

Severus' face remains impassive, but Harry bristles at Lucius' proprietary gesture.

"I do so wish I could stay longer," Lucius says, "but there is a mutual acquaintance of ours who will be very interested to know who has fallen into our world." He stands and reaches over to kiss Severus on the lips before leaving.

"That was random," the dog quips as soon as Lucius is no longer visible, but Harry keeps his eyes on Severus' face, on his lips.

The dog draws the wolf into conversation, but Severus keeps his face down-turned until, after several minutes, he lowers his teacup, looks at Harry and asks " Whys is a raven like a writing desk?"

Harry gapes. "Because...because they can both be black?"

Mutely, Severus shakes his head, stands, and walks away, into the bare forest.

"Nobody leaves the tea party!" the dog exclaims, but the wolf swats him with a paw and says "He needs time alone."

"He has nothing _but_ alone time! The bloody man hardly says one word a day! Locked up inside his own head like that, Moony, it's not healthy!"

* * *

><p>When Harry is next in Wonderland, he is seventeen and his eyes have acquired a haunted, desperate look.<p>

The dog starts to talk to him, jabbering on about his personal habits, and Harry stares down at it with a befuddled expression.

"What the fuck?" he says.

The wolf looks at him with sad eyes. "He has forgotten," he whispers to the dog.

The dog blinks.

Harry pinches his arms a couple of times.

"Has he turned to self-harm?" the dog whispers to the wolf.

"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius," replies the wolf. "He thinks he's dreaming."

"Oh." The dog sits back on its haunches, watching Harry expectantly.

"What the fuck?" Harry repeats.

The dog narrows its eyes. "Are you sure it's the _right_ Harry?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Padfoot," says the wolf. "Of course it's the right Harry."

"You're... you're not real," Harry says.

The dog smirks. "Boo."

Harry regards both the animals for a moment, and then he sits, rather abruptly, on the grass and rubs his forehead.

"See?" the wolf whispers to the dog, "He still rubs his scar when he's confused."

"It hasn't faded?" the dog frowns.

"Of course it hasn't, Padfoot," the wolf answers with a long-suffering sigh. "It's from _him."_

"_Who?"_ Harry asks.

"Come on," the wolf says, instead of answering him. "Severus will want to see you."

Harry follows the animals, befuddled, as they lead him through mazes and over hills and gigantic rocks until they come to a place where a giant table is set against a backdrop of trees. A man stands from the table as they approach, a man with long white hair, and he gazes at Harry and his retinue for a long minute before fading away into the trees.

As the group approaches the table and the dark-haired man still sitting there, the wolf bounds ahead of the others.

"Severus!" the wolf exclaims. "Was that-"

"Yes," the man interrupts, face inscrutable. "It was."

The wolf falls silent, head drooping, and the dog approaches the man next.

"Harry's back," he says, and Severus turns to face Harry for the first time.

"But you...you were a _dream,_" Harry says, blushing fiercely. "Just my imagination!"

"Were we," the man says. He raises an eyebrow. "How novel."

Harry gapes.

"Severus," the wolf chides, and Harry shivers as the man's gaze is turned away from him to glare at the wolf.

The dog butts his nose against Harry's leg, glancing up at him with wide eyes. "So you do remember us?"

"No," Harry denies immediately.

The dog continues to stare up at him. Harry runs a hand through his hair.

"I...I remember that I used to have dreams about this place." He looks around the clearing. "But I haven't had a dream about here in years."

The dog sighs. "You haven't visited us for _ages."_

Harry laughs shakily. "Sorry?"

The dog huffs, and they both turn their attention back to the wolf and the man.

"Harry's back," the wolf repeats.

"Quite," Severus replies, not meeting the amber eyes.

"You know what these means, Severus."

"Of course I do Lupin!" the man snaps.

"Wait, what?" Harry asks. "What does what mean?"

The wolf turns to face him. "You're back," he says slowly. "That means it's the Frabjous Day."

Behind him, the man sneers in disgust.

"What's Frabjous Day? What are you talking about?"

The wolf turns to face the man once more, apparently waiting patiently for the man to explain. Severus is silent for several minutes, before he stands and turns away from them. His voice is quiet when he speaks.

"The Frabjous Day, Potter, is the ridiculous title given to the prophesied day on which you kill the Jabberwock, and by doing so, defeat the Dark Lord."

Harry laughs a short bark of laughter. "You're kidding."

"No."

The dogs shifts closer until he is leaning against Harry's leg in support.

Severus continues. "According to this prophecy, only you can rid us of the Dark Lord's tyranny."

"This is ridiculous," Harry states. "Like, my subconscious has come up with a lot of crappy stuff over the years, but this, this takes the cake."

Severus turns back to face them.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" he asks.

"Um..." Harry thinks it over. "I still don't know."

"Exactly," Severus says quietly, as though that explains everything. "Were you dreaming, Harry, do you not think you would be able to think of an answer?"

Harry shakes his head. "It's a dream. It doesn't have to have an answer."

"But there is an answer."

"Is there?"

"All things have an answer, thus they are things. Did they not have an answer, the would be undefinable, and therefore not a thing."

"You're mad," Harry says, shaking his head in bemusement. The dogs huffs in agreement.

"It's been said," the man concedes. "But save for you, all those who thought so out loud are dead. Yet I am still alive."

Harry opens his mouth to say something, and then closes it again. He bites on his bottom lip.

"What's a Jabberwock?" he asks finally.

"A monster."

"Yeah, I got that."

"It has been known to kill everyone in a village, to destroy parts of the forest with no provocation. That is all that is known for sure."

"Convenient," Harry mutters.

"Except, of course," Severus adds, "that you are the only one who can kill it."

"Why?"

"The prophecy says that only the man "born of the Underworld, raised in the sun," can kill it," the wolf says. "That the man will be born at the end of your world's July, and that his parents would have defied Voldemort, the Dark Lord, three times."

"My parents?" Harry asks. "They were from here?"

"Your father was," the wolf says. He is quiet, and looks at the man.

"You mother was not," Severus finishes.

"And that bastard killed them," the dog finishes.

"Oh." Harry slumps into a chair. "So, in my dream I am meant to defeat a man whom I've invented to explain my parents' death?" Harry asks. The dog nods enthusiastically.

Severus studies him from the other side of the table, his dark gaze both intimidating and comfortingly familiar. "You are different then you once were," he says quietly.

Harry cocks an eyebrow in inquiry.

"You are more cynical."

"That'll happen to a person," Harry mutters.

"You have put away childish things, old dreams and beliefs." Severus frowns sadly.

Harry raises his chin defiantly. "I've had to."

"There is never any reason to forget Underland."

Harry picks at the tablecloth. "Did you know that the first time I came here, the first time I _dreamt _ of here," he corrects himself, "before I met any of you, I landed in the court of the White King?"

Severus nods in acknowledgment, and Harry does not look to see if the animals do as well.

"I was bleeding. They thought I'd tripped. I hadn't."

The dog growls and the wolf drops to the ground, but Severus continues to gaze at Harry.

"What better reason to remember Underland?" he asks.

Harry stands abruptly. "Because this isn't the real world!" he snaps. "I've lived my life up there, in _reality, _where dreams don't do anything but make you wish for things that can't be real!"

"They are real," Severus replies. 'You just have to let yourself believe it."

Harry drops back into his seat. "I can't," he says plaintively. "I can't. Because the real world is waiting for me, as soon as this dream is over."

Severus drops his gaze, finally.

They are silent for several minutes. Harry feels the seconds tick past in his head, a steady pattern of lost time accompanying the drum beat of his pulse.

"If you believe this is a dream," Severus says slowly, "then what is the point in not aiding us?"

Harry opens, and then closes his mouth. Behind his chair, the wolf gets to his feet with a weary sigh.

"No—nothing, I guess," Harry says hesitantly.

Severus stands, regarding Harry shrewdly. "You will aid us and bring about the Frabjous Day?" he clarifies.

Harry bites his lip and then agrees. "I will."

Severus turns his faze to the two animals beside Harry. "You know your parts," he tells them. "Go"

"Snape..." the dog warns, before Severus interrupts him. "I know, Black," he says firmly. "Now go."

The animals obey the order in the man's voice, both of them butting Harry with their nose before running off into the forest.

The clearing is very silent once they have left. Harry turns to face the other man, who is regarding him silently once more.

"What happens next?" Harry asks softly.

Severus moves away from the table and looks back at Harry, cocking his head forward in an order to follow. "Now we play our parts."


	2. Welcome Home

**Part 2 **

**Welcome Home (Sanitarium)**

There are things that have changed from the dreams Harry had as a child.

The bridge he and the dog once played on is gone, crumbling into the small stream. The grass around the bridge is dead. Harry doesn't ask Severus how.

The trees are darker and covered in moss. Harry wonders if perhaps only his perceptions have changed, but he sticks closer to Severus as they walk, just in case.

And, of course, there is Severus himself. He is still quiet, still constantly watchful, still brooding. But the new lines around his mouth scare Harry, and he becomes so focused on a scar on Severus' right hand, which is red and angry and continues up, under his sleeve, that Harry trips and has to pick himself up from the ground, face red and lowered.

But there are things that are so familiar, so right and unchanged, that they make Harry's heart hurt. There are still flowers a shade of bright blue not found in reality, still little strange animals that slither away at their approach, and there is still Severus. The dog and the wolf, too, of course. But more than anything, there is still Severus.

Harry's quite sure this would say quite a bit about his psyche, if he cared to analyze it. He focuses on their surroundings instead.

"What...what are our parts?" Harry asks, breaking the quiet of the forest.

Severus glances back at him, quickly, and then returns his gaze to the maze of trees before them. "You are to kill the Jabberwocky, and release Underworld from the Dark Lord."

Harry traces his lightning bolt scar. "And your part?" he asks hesitantly.

"I have no part."

"Yes you do, else you wouldn't be taking me...wherever it is that we're going." he lengthens his stride until he can walk beside Severus.

"I have no set part," Severus amends. "My role is to do whatever is required of me." He once more looks at Harry and then away.

"Is that a lie?"

"Not at this moment in time."

"But...it could be? Some time?"

"I have no set role," Severus says, "therefore I have no rules."

"Ah," Harry teases, "a rebel." Then he goes bright red and falls behind Severus again.

Severus glances back at him, confused, and then shakes his head and turns forward. "The exact opposite."

"Um, right," says Harry sheepishly. "OK. Where are we going?"

Severus looks to the ground. "The White King's castle," he says, and turns left.

When they have walked for hours and Harry's feet are sore, they finally reach what passes for a road in Underland, a long narrow stretch of clear-cut forest. Harry's feet drag across the ground with every weary step, and he returns to questioning Severus as a means to relieve his boredom.

"What are the dog and the wolf's parts?"

"Black is to rally our allies in the east, while Lupin has run ahead of us to the castle to inform Dumbledore of our imminent arrival, before going to rally our allies in the west."

"We...we have allies?" Harry asks.

"We have been waiting for you for a very long time," Severus says.

"Because of some silly prophecy?"

"Because you are a symbol of hope for many."

Harry grimaces.

"The people of Underland have been under the control of the Dark Lord for decades," Severus continues. "Thousands have died needlessly. It is in our nature to reach for some impossible thing when we feel as though we are not in control."

That effectively silenced Harry for an interminable hour spent walking down the same stretch of road. Neither of the two companions spoke again until a cloud of approaching dust was seen in the distance.

"Sever-" Harry began, but Severus cut him off, whirling to face him, jaw set.

"The castle of the White King can be found by following this road until you reach the crossroads. Turn right and you will soon come upon it."

"What?" Harry asks, startled, but Severus whirls once again in a flurry of black to face the oncoming riding party.

"Go, Potter," he says. "Do not hesitate, for any reason. Simply go."

"No, I'm not leaving you, what are you talking about?"

"You must go, Potter."

"I'm not leaving you!" Harry repeats.

"I shall be perfectly fine."

"Bullshit," Harry erupts. He can make out the shape of the riders, now. They are all clothed in black, except for the frontrunner, an ominous shape in stark red. "Hey," Harry says, "isn't that-"

"Yes," Severus snaps. "Go!"

But with a flash of clarity, Harry remembers a tea party long ago, when a man in red joined them and touched Severus, and Harry also remembers that flash of childish propriety he had felt when Lucius kissed Severus.

"I'm not leaving you," he says stubbornly.

Severus turns his head to glare at the smaller man. "It will be our downfall," he hisses.

Harry just glares back, and watches the riders come closer still.

"This is my part," Severus says, and then the riders are upon them.

"Severus," Lucius says, swinging himself down from his horse with a flap of red robes. He eyes Harry appreciatively. "How fortuitous."

"Indeed," Severus says, and yanks Harry forward by his collar.

"Well well," Lucius muses, circling Harry and Severus and eying Harry from head to toe, before standing in front of him and trailing a long, thin finger down Harry's right cheek. "So this is the Prophesied One. Not nearly as distinguished as was expected, is he, Severus?"

"Not at all," Severus sneers. "Quite a...disappointment."

Anger surges hot and strong in Harry's stomach, and he snarls, pulling against Severus' hold. Lucius tuts and slaps him against the jaw. "And to think," he says, turning to Severus, "that there are those who hope _he _will rid the world of our Lord."

"Indeed," Severus says, and his eyes are hard when they meet Harry's.

* * *

><p>A man wearing robes of white stands in front of a large table, empty but for an abandoned tea set. He sits at the head of the table in a chair not meant for him and opens a chess board onto the table. Carefully he places each game piece onto the board, the pawns; the humans and the animals and the creatures in between. He takes a deep breath and then begins to move the pieces around on the board, first black, then white.<p>

Only once the sky has begun to darken does the man stop. He sits back with a weary sigh and gazes at the board, melancholic. He has rearranged the board a hundred different ways, has thought of every escape route, every second plan, and no matter how the pieces are moved there are always casualties of flesh and spirit and emotion.

"Well, Severus," the man says with a sigh, and then Dumbledore sweeps the table of his pawns with a swipe of his hand.

It wouldn't do to leave any indication of his plans.


	3. Let's Not Pretend to be New Men

**Let's Not Pretend (To Be New Men)**

**or**

**Farewell to the Past**

The dungeons of the Black King are cold and damp and made of stone. Harry sits huddled in the corner of a cell, trying to ignore the jeers of the group gathered around the bars of his cage.

"You're lucky our master is not here," Lucius had sneered. "There are so very many things I would like to do to you, but our lord desires to be the first to...defile you."

The jeers are more of the same, and Harry has not glanced up at the men since he saw that Severus was a part of the group, arms folded across his chest at the back of the crowd, his image flickering in the dim light of the torches.

There is one window, at the far end of the block of cells, covered in bars but just high enough to catch the light of day as it fades into night. Harry watches the light darken until sleep comes, softening the corners of his mind.

* * *

><p>Dumbledore stands on a balcony dimly lit by torches and gazes away, across his land.<p>

"What do we do now?" Minerva asks from behind him.

Dumbledore thinks of children found in another world and promises made in sorrow and says "We must retrieve Harry from the traitor and Voldemort's minions."

He glances down at the white of his garden and remembers fury and scorn and desperation on the face of a man who bears Voldemort's Mark, and then turns to face Minerva. "No matter the cost."

* * *

><p>"Potter!"<p>

Harry wakes with a start at the harsh whisper, glancing wildly around. "Wh—what?" he asks, and a familiar voice shushes him out of the darkness.

"I don't have long, Potter," Severus says, stepping out of the shadows so that the last remaining torch flickers over his face.

"You!" Harry snarls, leaping up.

"Quite," Severus says woodenly. "Now listen to me, Potter. These are the things you have to learn."

* * *

><p>There are some things about Underland that are so fantastical, so completely otherworldly, that Harry had forgotten them completely. When he was eleven he sat at the tea table and watched Severus flick a piece of wood and make the tea cups dance in the air at the persistent urging of the dog. Harry had laughed with delight and Severus had turned to him, a smile very nearly twitching at the corner of his mouth and had flicked his wand again. Harry had looked around, trying to find the newly magicked object, only to laugh again when he saw that his chair was floating a foot off the ground.<p>

But the best treat had come right at the end of that visit, when Severus, after surveying Harry head to toe for several minutes, had stood behind Harry and had taken his hand and placed it under Severus' on the wand. The dog had laughed at how wide Harry's eyes had grown, but he had barely noticed.

Severus had pointed the wand at a biscuit and said "The motion is switch and flick," demonstrating the movement with his hand over Harry's, "and the incantation is 'Wingardium Leviosa.' Do it with me."

Young Harry had determinedly repeated the spell and had trembled with excitement and awe when the biscuit rose several inches into the air. "Fine," Severus had praised. "Now raise it higher."

Harry didn't remember this until now, sitting in a cell and glaring at the man on the other side. "What?" he spits.

"Magic, Potter," Severus snarls, and then seems to rein himself in. "It is my belief that you'll need it if you face the Jabberwock."

"Oh," Harry gasps and remembers the feel of wood in his palm and Severus' hand covering his own.

Then he narrows his eyes. "What do you mean 'it is my belief?' Aren't we conforming to some prophecy?"

"The prophecy only insinuates that you will have special abilities."

Harry glowered. "What does the White King think the ability is?"

Severus' own glower would have made Harry cower, were he younger and had not been imprisoned by him. "Dumbledore thinks that all you need to fight the Jabberwock is _love." _ Severus sneers the last word as though it is something trite.

Harry can't help but think that Severus' idea is better. He slumps on the ground once more. "You heard your..._friends. _What are the chances I'll ever get out of here?"

Severus surveys the cell. "I thought you were of the opinion that Underland is a dream?" he says absently.

Harry picks at a thread on his trainers. "Yeah, well, then I fell asleep."

At Severus' raised eyebrow Harry elaborates, "Everyone knows that you can't fall asleep in a dream and then wake up still in it."

"Do they," Severus says, but it is not a question.

'Yeah," Harry says anyway, and then attempts to break the thread. He only succeeds on making a red mark on his hand, and he suddenly punches the ground angrily. "Why are you here? Why the fuck did you come back?"

Severus surveys him with equanimity. "I have no rules," he calmly states.

"Don't be an arse," Harry says harshly, standing and holding onto the bars of his cell so he and Severus are face to face, only metal between them. "Just tell me. Just...why?"

Severus stops meeting his eyes. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"No," Harry says, shaking his head and moving as close as he can to the bars, "no, you don't get to give me that again. I want actual answers."

"There are no answers."

"Yes there bloody well is!" Harry screams, and they both tense, straining to hear approaching footsteps. He slumps against the bars when a minute has passed with no sound. "I don't understand what's happening," he tells the floor. "All I know is that one minute I was..._talking_ to my uncle, and the next minute I was visiting a world I'd once dreamed of. Except everything's darker and I'm supposed to fulfill this stupid prophecy and...and I don't understand."

Severus sighs. "Once upon a time," he says, gaze distant, and Harry snorts in disgust at the beginning. "No," Severus tells him, "let me finish. Once upon a time, I lived in the world you call...reality."

Harry opens his mouth but closes it again when Severus glares.

"I had one friend," Severus continues. "A girl. Lily Evans."

"_Evans_?"

Severus nods. "Your aunt's sister," he says shortly. "There is magic on Earth as well, if you know where to look for it, and Lily did. She had already harnessed her magical potential and had started to do simple spells. My mother had been born in Underland, and so I knew of magic. Lily and I..." Severus trails off, jaw clenching unconsciously. "We both wanted something undefinable, something we could only find in Underland, and we bonded because of that.

"Occasionally there are children on Earth who have so much potential Dumbledore can feel it in Underland, and he collects them, brings them to his castle and teaches them. Lily and I were two such children."

Severus moves away from Harry, revealing himself more in thoughtless actions that his words ever can. "So we left reality behind and joined the community of students in the White King's castle. Our first year was peaceful, but the rumors of unrest began in our second. Nothing was certain, but we were told that a rival had risen in the south, a man determined to keep Underland separate from Earth, to keep Underland pure. What we didn't know then was that the Red King had risen long before then, had already amassed an army of loyal slaves. We continued our studies, and eventually Lily and I...began to grow apart." Severus clenches his hands into fists. "She fell in love with your father-"

"Who was he?" Harry asks eagerly.

"James Potter," Severus sneers, turning to face him. "He was an arrogant, vapid, ignorant bully."

Harry unconsciously flinches back from that.

"She joined Dumbledore's army and I..." Severus takes a deep breath and rolls up his left sleeve, revealing the brand of Voldemort. "I joined the Dark Lord."

Harry sits, staring at his knees. "Wh...why?" he asks, choked.

Severus whirls away with a snort. "Many reasons."

"What were they, Severus?" Harry asks, voice hard.

Severus stops and looks at the ground, the faint light of the moon shinning down on his head through the window. "The Dark Lord offered me more resources to continue my studies in Potions," he says.

"And?" Harry demands.

"We were powerful," Severus says bleakly. "And a strong, cohesive unit. Many of my early acquaintances had joined with him and I was surrounded by ambitious peers and given opportunities I would otherwise not have had."

"And the part about keeping Underworld pure?"

"I did not necessarily want _all _the children of Earth kept away, I was, after all, one of them myself. But there were others...I did not want my haven tarnished, and there are those—my father is one, who would destroy Underland if given the chance, who would exploit us and our abilities. I wanted to protect Underland, and myself."

Harry sighs, the sound loud in the silence of the dungeons. Severus seems to take that as permission to continue.

"I joined the Dark Lord, and we, his servants, created the Jabberwock out of malice and greed. We overtook the world in two years. But there was always Lily, and there came a day when I happened to overhear a prophecy."

Harry looks up, face already shadowed by knowledge. "_The _prophecy?"

"Yes. I overheard a woman telling Dumbledore that a child with the ability to defeat the Dark Lord would be born to parents who had thrice defied him, would be born at the end of the Earth's July. I...I told the prophecy to the Dark Lord, and he became obsessed with killing the child before it could grow strong enough to destroy him."

"My mother..." Harry says softly.

"I didn't know who the Dark Lord had decided must be the expectant parents of the boy until it was almost too late, but when I found out that it was Lily I went to Dumbledore. He hid you and your parents, and all was fine for a year." Severus stops for just a second before continuing, head still bowed. "And then the Dark Lord discovered your location, and set out to kill you. Your parents were...unlucky bystanders, in his mind, and he soon came upon you. But it is Dumbledore's belief that when your mother died trying to protect you she bestowed upon you a type of shield, and instead of the Dark Lord's curse killing you, it rebounded and hit him. Only the magic of the Jabberwock kept him alive, and even with that he was much weakened for many years."

Severus turns to face him. "Dumbledore decided you would be safest on Earth until the time came when we could safely collect you. Except you were not like other children, and you found Underland on your own, at times of trouble in your life."

"I thought I was dreaming," Harry says softly. "I only came here when I was...when I was hurt, so I thought you were just a hallucination, or something."

"You were never alerted to the fact that you had been missing, sometimes for several hours?"

"I doubt my relatives would have noticed," Harry says with a shrug. "I just always came back to my bed, and so I thought I had been asleep."

Severus frowns but does not comment. "Dumbledore believes that the strength of your power has created a link between you and Underland, various rabbit holes that you can fall into, which you utilized without understanding when your emotions were high.

"You came to us when you were six, and those who knew of the prophecy began to plan, knowing the culmination of all the years of work had been signaled by your return. Dumbledore was hesitant to introduce you to much of Underland at such a young age, believing it safest that you think it nothing more than a pleasant, nonsensical dream, and so I was sworn to protect you."

"That's why I never went back to the castle?" Harry asked.

Severus nods.

Harry sighs again. "Well..." he says, and then trails off.

They stay silent for several minutes. "I should go," Severus says eventually. "It will be dawn soon."

Harry glances at him, and then looks quickly away. "Were you in love with my mother?" he asks, staring straight ahead.

"I thought I was," Severus says, looking at Harry. "But the things I have felt, the things I have done and seen since we were children together, has made me question the aptness of that definition."

Harry nods, peeking up at Severus through his fringe. "The dog and the wolf—Lupin and Black? Are they part of Dumbledore's army?"

Severus nods shortly. "They were your father's friends," he offers.

Harry's eyes widen.

Severus correctly guesses the cause of Harry's surprise and says "They were not always animals. Once they were boys the same age as me. But Lupin was a werewolf, and his friends decided it would be noble to become Animagi, wizards who can turn into an animal, and keep Lupin..._company_ during his transformations. While the Dark Lord was searching for you, he fought Lupin and Black and cursed them to remain in their animal forms."

Harry shudders. "That's horrible."

"They could have been killed."

"But now they can never quite be themselves."

'They still have each other, and they can still irritate me. I suspect they're as happy as they can be considering their situation."

Harry smiles slightly. "Are you going to teach me magic?"

"That's what I had expected to happen tonight, yes."

"I...I sort of think that," he waves a hand around, "everything you said is enough to learn tonight, seeing as you shouldn't have been here so long."

Severus nods sharply, and then grabs something from the pocket of his robes, taking the napkin off it before thrusting his hand into the cell. "Here," he says roughly. "I expect you're hungry. It was all I could get."

Harry stands to accept the offered bread and cheese, grasping Severus' hand longer than he should "Thanks," he mutters, somewhat sullenly. "I mean, you didn't have to get food for me, or anything, or even come back down here at all, so...thanks."

Severus arches an eyebrow but doesn't say anything before he turns and walks back up the stairs.


	4. This Will Make You Love Again

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, I was away, and then I was having trouble reconciling Snape and the Mad Hatter in my head.**

**This Will Make You Love Again**

Harry doesn't see Severus at all the next day, and he spends the daylight hours eagerly awaiting nightfall and trying to block out the jeers of Voldemort's servants.

Severus comes earlier than he had the previous night, and Harry is still awake to hear his soft footsteps on the stairs.

"You will need a wand," Severus says without preamble, stepping into the torch light. "But I am not able to procure one for you. Therefore you will be practising with mine."

"Um..." Harry says, blinking. "Okay. Thanks?"

Severus nods in acknowledgement "Obviously, we do not have the time nor I the means to teach you all the theory and spells that you would have learned at Hogwarts."

He pauses and Harry nods in understanding.

"Therefore I have decided," Severus continues, "that it is necessary for me to overlook theory and reason during our lessons and teach you only the spells I believe could be useful."

Harry snickers softly at Severus' evident displeasure.

"The first spell will likely be of little help against the Jabberwocky, but it will give you some measure of protection against other wizards." Severus hands Harry his wand. "The incantation is '_Expelliarmus.'"_

They work together until the shadows begin to recede and even Severus cannot help but yawn. Severus turns to leave but Harry stops him with a hand, stretched through the bars, grasping onto the sleeves of his robe.

"Severus?" Harry asks timidly. "When will Volde—er, the Dark Lord, get here?"

Severus stiffens at the mention of his master, but turns to Harry with a smirk. "The first messenger was, sadly,..._delayed_ and so the Dark Lord has not yet learned of your imprisonment." He becomes somber once more. "However, that will not be true for long."

Harry nods gravely. "How am I getting out of here to face the Jabberwocky?"

"I have a plan," Severus says, "but you will not face the Jabberwocky just yet. I believe I will be able to get you to Dumbledore, and he will then be able to implement you when he sees fit."

Harry frowns. "You're coming too, right? You're not staying here?"

"I will not be in any danger."

Harry almost rolled his eyes. "No, you'll just be surrounded by people capable of killing you if they figure out you betrayed them."

"They believe me to be mad. They will not suspect me of rescuing you."

"Severus," Harry says slowly, and then hesitates. "You know that feeling you get when you _know _someone is lying to you so you don't worry or because they're trying not to think of the truth?"

"No," Severus states. "I have not had an occasion to feel as such in a very long time."

"Well," Harry replies, "that's what I'm feeling, right now."

Severus regards him silently for a minute. "There are many roles unfilled, so many that I can adapt and discard. I will do what I can to insure that you have some chance when you face the Jabberwocky, but each role has a different, inevitable ending."

"Just...just don't pick up a role that has an ending in death, okay?" Harry pleads. "I know you're being all self-sacrificing and whatnot, but maybe I just need...just need you to be Severus, and nothing else." Harry frowns and then adds, "And I need for Severus to refrain from dying."

Severus raises a speculative eyebrow. "I will, of course, do my utmost to make sure that it is so."

"Please," Harry whispers, and Severus nods sharply in goodbye before leaving.

* * *

><p>When Harry was young, he spent a lot of time outside. He can no longer remember whether this was of his own volition, but he reckons not. While Harry was no older than thirteen, he would sit outside on the grass, hidden by the house at Privet Drive and wrap his arms around his legs and watch. He'd watch for hours. While other people went about their lives he'd watch worms move, when the sounds of family dinners drifted to him he watched bugs on plants. When the sky started to darken, he'd look for rabbits and holes he could fall into, and he'd dream of a dog and wolf and a dark-haired man who sat at a long table and waited just for him.<p>

The people he watched taught him to never think that his dreams could be true.

Being in the cell reminds him of these childhood fancies. Like then, he has nothing to do but watch, kept apart from the rest of the world (fear and insecurities turned into iron bars). Except now there are no mundane sounds of passing cars, no plants, and Harry has seen the table. Has seen the dog and wolf leave him, and has seen the dark-haired man stand on a road and choose a path. He's fallen through a rabbit hole, and now he sits on a cold floor and lives for the darkness.

He thinks this may be marginally less pathetic than watching plants.

When the light has receded on the third day, Harry sits facing the stairway, armed with a retinue of questions for when Severus arrives. He straightens his back as he hears the already familiar tread descending.

"Do you ever miss," Harry begins as soon as he sees the tip of Severus' nose, "reality? Or, I mean, up there?" he points up through the ceiling and the purses his lips. "Or...wherever the other world would be..."

Severus waits to answer until he is standing directly in front of Harry's cell. "No," he says firmly. "There is nothing for me there but memories and loose ends."

'I hate loose ends. They..." Harry searches for the right word. "Irritate me. But you're just fine leaving your entire world behind?"

"I had little there to leave."

Harry frowns and looks down. "You said that Voldemort's servants believe you to be mad?"

"It seemed a useful disguise. No one suspects me of having the temerity to spy on the Dark Lord."

"Right," Harry mutters. "What's your plan to get me out?"

"Many years ago, the Dark Lord captured a pet of Dumbledore's and now keeps it in a cage as a trophy. I believe that if we managed to free the bird it would be able to transport you to Dumbledore."

"A bird?"

"A phoenix."

"Well, that's better. I was worried you were planning on me escaping on a mockingbird or something" Harry smiles at Severus' sneer and continues. "How would we free it?"

"It should be easy enough to make it seem as though you have overpowered me, stolen my wand and opened the phoenix's cage."

Harry purses his lips. "Will they blame you for it?"

"Unlikely"

Harry clenches his hands. "Are you lying?"

Severus hesitates for just a moment before answering. "I will not be killed."

"Damn it." Harry sighs and leans back against the hard stone wall. "When will we do this?"

"Lucius and his retinue plan to leave the castle in two days, we will stage your escape only once they have left."

"Voldemort won't be here by then?"

"A new messenger was sent only today. I believe that the Dark Lord will not be informed of your capture for a day or more, and then it will take him at least another day to finish whatever plan he has implemented. He will be in no great hurry to get here. You can not escape, after all."

"Of course," Harry says, blinking innocently. He grins in victory when one corner of Severus' mouth twitches minutely upwards. He sobers quickly when a new question occurs to him. "Will you be there, with me, when I have to face the Jabberwocky?"

Severus blinks, startled, and it takes him a second to answer. "I will attempt to be there, if you... if that is what you wish."

Harry nods jerkily, once, face flaming and staring at the ground. They are both silent for a minute, Severus staring at the top of the boy's head and Harry determinedly studying the floor, before Severus clears his throat and silently hands his wand to Harry through the bars. "We will begin with curses tonight."

* * *

><p>Dumbledore stands in front of a mass of people in the Great Hall of a different castle, and surveys his army with sorrowful blue eyes.<p>

"They are worried," Minerva remarks quietly from beside him. Dumbledore does not respond.

"Hagrid has sent a letter—he expects to arrive with the Giants tomorrow."

"Good," Dumbledore says absently. "That should raise their confidence."

"We need the boy."

Dumbledore nods. Minerva sniffs disparagingly at his silence and sits back in her chair.

"We'll get him," Dumbledore says quietly after a minute, almost in apology. "I have sent Remus and Sirius to ascertain for certain that Harry is being held in Voldemort's fortress. They are due back quite soon."

* * *

><p>Harry decides, quite early in the morning and only once Severus has already left him, that he doesn't want to wake up the morning of the day they plan to stage his 'escape.' Instead, he paces nervously, full of restless energy that could never have been contained enough for him to sleep, and watches the small window to see the sun rise. He had never before realized that the sun in Wonderland looked exactly the same as it did in reality. It is a startling realization, when coupled with the perfectly normal stone and metal surrounding him, the small gold and orange flame of the dying torch.<p>

Severus comes for him roughly an hour after the sun has risen fully, carrying a glass of water and a loaf of bread. Harry doesn't comment on the dark shadows under Severus' eyes, and Severus raises an eyebrow when he takes in Harry's appearance but says nothing about his matching shadows. It is ridiculous to feel a surge of triumph at this, but Harry does.

"We don't have long," Severus says, setting the food aside negligently. "They believe I am giving you the bread." He waves his wand at the bars of the cell and opens them with a silent spell before handing his wand to Harry. "The phoenix is kept in the main courtyard. If you go up the stairs and continue turning left, you will reach a door that opens to the courtyard. Use _Alohomora_ to open the cage—it is my belief that the Dark Lord will have been confident enough to use only a lock and basic wards to keep the bird from transporting itself from within the cage and those shouldn't effect you. Tell Fawkes, the phoenix, that you have to go to Dumbledore and he should be able to transport you there."

Severus had said all this quite quickly, and Harry blinks at him for several seconds, struggling to make sense of the instructions. He looks at the window speculatively. "If the courtyard's to the left, doesn't that mean that the window opens to it as well?"

"Yes," Severus replies, after a hesitation.

Harry nods. "I assume that it's placed close to the ground?" He waits for Severus' confirmation and then continues. "Couldn't we just...blast a hole through the wall? That way I wouldn't have to risk meeting people on the way up."

Severus looks almost pained as he answers, "Technically yes."

Harry nods, and lets loose the nervous smile that's been threatening the corners of his mouth.

"It would get you into position quicker," Severus allows.

"And if I tied you up and then blasted a hole through the wall, it would look more like the attack was a surprise, and that you didn't let me get past you."

Severus considers this for a moment. "Fine," he says wearily.

"Alright," Harry says, shifting, nervous anticipation making him jittery. "Right, so.. I'll just...tie you up," Harry waves the wand in Severus' direction, blushing red.

Severus assumes a slumped position against the wall and nods.

Harry hesitates before casting the spell. "Sorry," he says, then "_Incarcerous!"_

Ropes appear and they bind Severus tightly, before Harry slowly approaches him. "Be okay," he wills, dread sitting suddenly in his stomach. He reaches out and touches Severus' cheek, the actions quick and light. "And...thank you," he says, and then he turns and blasts a hole through the wall with a shouted "_Reducto_!"

The courtyard erupts into chaos as the wall explodes and Harry pushes himself up into the courtyard, squinting in the sudden light. There are no people near him, all having run to the far side of the courtyard when the wall blew, and he's fairly sure the gray lump in the middle of the circle must be the phoenix's cage. Harry starts running toward it, hoping the shock of the explosion will give him a few seconds before the Death-Eaters realize what has happened. Sure enough, he is already half-way to the cage before the Death-Eaters rouse themselves and start yelling spells at him, and Harry has to think of a man he left tied up behind him and incantations whispered in the dead of night as he dodges and weaves his way through a maze of offensive spells while haphazardly aiming and casting his own. He feels something sharp dig into his shoulder but determinedly pays the pain little mind as he douses a fire spell that had hit his trouser leg.

Harry can see the phoenix now, outlined by the bars of its cage, and he casts _Alohomora _at it in between stunning spells. The cage door bangs open with the strength of his spell, and the phoenix walks out of it as Harry dives down to hide behind the slight cover that the cage provides. "Fawkes," Harry pants as he casts spells over his shoulder, "I have to go to Dumbledore!" The phoenix comes closer, but hesitates before it touches Harry. "Please," Harry begs, and then, feeling ridiculous "I'm...I'm Harry Potter."

Immediately, the phoenix comes to rest below the hand that isn't holding the wand, so that Harry's fingers can touch the golden feathers. With a flash of flame that leaves the onlookers blinking, both phoenix and boy disappear from the destroyed courtyard.


	5. Angel of Death

**Angel of Death **

It starts to rain soon after Harry escapes with Fawkes, and this observation is not merely a metaphor. Severus watches the sky through the hole the reckless fool had made, and thinks of a riddle he once told a child with bright green eyes, waiting until his comrades start to poke at the rubble of the wall. There comes, eventually, the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs, and Severus looks away from the rain to face Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Why _Severus..."_ she says. "It seems as though our ickle prisoner escaped on _your _watch." She sticks her lower lip out and makes her eyes wide, a terrible parody of a child's pout, reaching out to caress Severus' cheek with rough hands, obliterating any feel of Harry that may have been left. "And we _know_ what happens to fools who let prisoners escape, don't we?"

Severus meets her gaze squarely and refuses to answer to her goading with anything more than a raised eyebrow.

* * *

><p>Harry lands hard on his injured shoulder in the middle of a room full of bustling people, Fawkes landing gracefully beside him on the cold stone floor. His appearance is met by startled cries and hastily drawn wands, and Harry quickly stands, hands held out in front of him.<p>

"Wait!" he says, panicked. "I... I don't mean anyone harm!"

With a loud flap of wings Fawkes takes off into the air and lands on the shoulders of a vaguely familiar white-haired man who approaches Harry with a smile on his face. "Harry, my dear boy," he greets and Harry turns to face him quickly. "You're Dumbledore?" he asks urgently.

Dumbledore nods, smiling, raising a hand to keep the onlookers at bay.

"We have to go back," Harry pleads. "Severus said he'd be okay but he _won't _be. We have to save him."

Dumbledore blinks and looks taken aback for only a second before he smiles once more. "Perhaps we could talk about this more privately, after you have had your arm taken care of."

"No!" Harry shouts. "My arm doesn't fucking matter!" He quiets, terror making him shiver. "He's going to be _killed,_" he whispers to Dumbledore, "and it's going to be because of me."

"Severus made his choice when he joined Voldemort's league," Dumbledore says, equally solemn. "Now come," he says, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder and using it to lead him through the crowd, "I believe this would be a conversation better had in a different place, and your arm needs to be bandaged."

* * *

><p>Dusk has fallen, and the Dark Lord has arrived at his fortress (sooner than Severus had thought, and the realization of how close they came to Harry's escape being foiled makes Severus shiver). Severus is led into the centre of the main courtyard for his judgment. He is pushed onto his knees in front of the Dark Lord, the ropes Harry cast into existence still tied tight around his body.<p>

"I had heard many interesting rumours about you today, Severus," the Dark Lord announces, his cool voice cutting through the silence of the night. "Rumours that you are a traitor," he pauses, but Severus gives him no reaction, "rumours that you allowed the Potter boy to escape. That you told him how to take the phoenix."

The Dark Lord walks a circle around Severus' prone form, and then he stops directly in front of him. Severus' chin is jerked roughly upward, one of the Dark Lord's pale hands cupping his chin and squeezing hard. "No reaction, Severus?" the Dark Lord asks quietly, sneering. "No explanations, no excuses?"

Severus keeps his face impassive as he says, "I have always wanted only to serve you, my lord."

The Dark Lord shoves Severus in disgust, and he falls to the ground on his side. "Indeed, Severus?" the Dark Lord asks. "Then, perhaps, you can explain how the messengers sent to tell me of the Potter boy's capture were poisoned? How the boy acquired _your _wand and overpowered you? How he managed to release the phoenix and escape?"

The Dark Lord takes a step back and raises his voice, so that his words reverberate around the walled yard. "Allow me to tell you of the explanations _I _have found, Severus, of how you fatally poisoned the messengers so that I would not be told of Potter's capture, of how you _gave _Potter your wand, _allowed _him to escape."

"My lord-" Severus begins, but the Dark Lord cuts him off by grabbing a handful of Severus' hair and using it to pull him to his knees once more. "Tell me, _Severus," _the Dark Lord spits into the man's face, "how long have you been Dumbledore's _spy?_"

Severus opens his mouth to deny the accusation, but the Dark Lord backhands him roughly and he lands once more in the dirt. The Dark Lord places his foot on Severus' right arm, a silent threat. "How long have you been a _traitor_, Severus?" the Dark Lord sneers. "Did the Potter boy allow you to bed him? Did Dumbledore lure you away with his lies?" his eyes gleam and he crouches beside Severus, putting enough pressure on his arm to make Severus grit his teeth against the pain. "Or was it that _mudblood_, Severus? I offered her a choice, and she chose the son over you, didn't she? Is that what you betrayed me for, Severus? For loneliness and unrequited _love?" _The Dark Lord sneers and stands, breaking the arm his foot rests upon. Severus screams out into the night, a harsh sound pulled from his throat, and the Dark Lord smiles cruelly.

"You will be executed at sunset tomorrow," he tells Severus, "but first, I think it only fair that you provide my _loyal _servants with a source of entertainment tonight.

"My lord," Severus gasps out, but the Dark Lord stalks away without hesitation.

As the Death-Eaters converge upon their fallen comrade, casting spells even as they move, a wolf whines in sadness from where he watches, hidden by the bars of a drain hole, and turns his face to press against the coat of his canine companion as screams begin to tear through the night.

* * *

><p>Harry paces the office he had been pointed toward, waiting for Dumbledore to arrive. Fawkes croons softly at him from his perch in the corner, but Harry pays him no mind.<p>

"It is so good to see you again, my boy." Dumbledore speaks from behind him, and Harry, startled, jumps and whirls to face the other man.

"Which is why you left me with my aunt and uncle for so long, right?" Harry asks bitterly.

Dumbledore's smile transforms into a sympathetic grimace. "It was what I believed was best."

Harry snorts and rubs a weary hand across his face. "Severus is the reason I'm standing here, and Voldemort's going to kill him."

Dumbledore sighs and walks past Harry to settle into the chair behind the desk. "Severus chose his path a long time ago."

"No he didn't!" Harry exclaims. "He keeps switching paths and this one is getting him killed!"

"Harry," Dumbledore says gravely. "There always comes a time when one must choose between what is right and what is easy, and Severus chose the easy option long before you were born."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure it was so _easy,_" Harry sneers. "Torture, killing, I'm sure that was a blast." He walks forward until he can rest his hands against the desk and lean over it. "Whatever he did in the past, Severus is the reason I am standing here now. While you hid away in your castle, he watched over a kid he didn't even fucking care about, and he literally became that kid's _dream _because the kid had nothing else to believe provided me with a haven, and he taught me magic, and he told me about my past which is more than you've even _thought _of doing. _On your orders_. And now he's going to die for that."

"Harry, I am truly sorry," Dumbledore says, "but we do not have the required resources to rescue Severus, even if I believed we could." Dumbledore raises a hand when Harry starts to speak, stopping him. "Though it may be difficult to face, Harry, you need to consider the fact that Voldemort has likely already killed Severus for his betrayal."

Harry pales immediately and takes a step back from the table. When he speaks again his voice is quiet but strong. "You are the one who wanted me here, Dumbledore, and Severus is the one who insured that you would have me. He gave you what you believe is your most important resource." He takes a shaky breath. "And you're repaying him with death." He keeps his mouth open as though he is going to continue to berate the older man, but with a sharp shake of his head Harry turns and walks out of the door. The office stays quiet in his absence, with only the ticking of a clock filling the silence of Harry's wake.


	6. The Soldiering Life

**The Soldering Life**

Harry can feel fatigue creeping over his thoughts but he doesn't stop, brushing aside concerned murmurings and attempts to steer him back into the main part of the castle until he escapes into the cool night air. The doors bang shut behind him, but he barely notices, taking deep breaths with his hands on his knees.

"_You need to consider the fact that Voldemort has likely already killed Severus for his betrayal."_

Harry's breath catches in his throat as Dumbledore's words mock his worry.

He doesn't know how tea and riddles became betrayal and death.

He falls asleep sitting against the wall of the castle, watching the night recede on a new day he isn't sure he wants to face.

* * *

><p>They had pushed and prodded him through the hole in the wall and into the block of cells before deciding that Severus should be kept in the cell Harry had resided in. Being on the other side of the bars makes memories play on repeat in Severus' mind, a bittersweet emotion he can't define uncurling in his chest as he waits for the sun to rise on the last day.<p>

He has always found it difficult to avoid thinking of the past when he is alone and without an occupation, and this time is no exception. He thinks of a scared child who defied his preconceptions, and of the bitter man that child turned out to be, and he thinks of ravens and writing desks and differences and the things that remain the same. He thinks of drinking tea weak, the way the boy likes it, and of the panic of giving his wand to another person, and he can almost forget the pain.

He focuses on the memory of green eyes, and allows himself to be pulled toward unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>A dog and a wolf run through a forest without a path, underneath a quarter moon.<p>

"Come _on, _Sirius," the wolf urges, leaping over a fallen tree.

The dog does not reply, but with a grunt he pushes himself to go faster, until he and the wolf run side by side.

* * *

><p>Harry wakes to the sight of a freckled face peering at him closely, eyebrows raised in consideration.<p>

"Wha..." Harry splutters, blinking.

"Good morning!" a voice says, and Harry turns his head to the left to see another, identical, freckled face peering at him.

"I'm Fred," the person in front of Harry says.

"And I'm George," the person to the left says.

"I'm Harry," he offers weakly.

"We know," the twins chorus together. "We've been sent to tell you that breakfast is ready in the Great Hall."

Fred frowns, and says in mock sternness "It was awfully difficult to find you."

George smiles. "But after a while I said, 'Hey, George, where's the most comfortable place to sleep at Hogwarts?'"

"And I," says Fred, "said 'Outside of course!' and we found you."

Harry gapes, and the twins pull him to his feet.

"Anyway," George says, "_breakfast_."

* * *

><p>A long table is now set in the middle of the Great Hall, and Harry eyes the loud, bickering group of people surrounding it, all eating or attempting to find something to fill their plate, with startled cautiousness. Fred and George drag him over to join a clump of red-heads, and Harry is pushed until he sits beside a man who appears to be his own age.<p>

"Hi," the man nods agreeably. "I'm Ron."

"Harry," he offers, feeling as though the introduction is rather redundant when the man nods. Harry's eyes catch on the long scar that starts at the man's temple and ends just at the right corner of his mouth, but bites his tongue against any shock and questions, accepting the bacon when Ron passes it to him.

A hush falls over the crowd, and Harry looks around, startled, before he sees that Dumbledore has stood upon the raised platform on the far side of the hall.

"The day we have long awaited is upon us, my friends," Dumbledore announces. "The Chosen One has joined us and we are ready to make our final strike against Voldemort." Harry feels hot with fury, and Ron glances at him worriedly when his hands clench into fists on the table. "If there are any students of Hogwarts who have not yet been evacuated to a safe house, and do not desire to fight with us, please bring your situation to the attention of either myself, or one of the other teachers."

Dumbledore seems about to continue, but Harry stands, a new-found determination making him brave, before the man can continue. "Sir," Harry calls over the heads gathered at the table. "I never said I would fight for you."

A collective gasp seems to rise from the table's occupants, but Harry ignores them, glaring into the pale blue eyes of the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"My boy," Dumbledore says benignly, "you made your choice to join us."

"I did," Harry concedes. "And you made the choice not to rescue Severus."

Dumbledore's eyes harden, but his smile remains. "The traitor made his choice as well, Harry," he says condescendingly.

"He is _not _a traitor!" Harry exclaims, pushing away from the table and turning to face Dumbledore directly. "Is that what you've been telling everyone? Is that what you've been telling _him?"_

Harry turns to face the people at the table, all of whom are watching him curiously. "Severus Snape is not a traitor!" he shouts. "He's been protecting me since I was ten! Now Voldemort is going to execute him for it."

Startling murmurings break out within in the crowd, but Harry ignores them and turns back to Dumbledore when the older man speaks again. "I am not happy to have to leave Severus to his fate, but we simply have neither the time nor the resources to attempt a rescue, which I believe would be futile in the extreme as it is not Voldemort's habit to allow his prisoners to wait before they are killed."

"He hasn't been killed," a hoarse voice says, and Harry turns in relief to see a weary looking Sirius standing before Remus in the doorway to the hall. "He won't be until sunset."

They drag their tired feet until they stand beside Harry. He smiles at them both gratefully before looking at Dumbledore. "You need neither expend unnecessary resources nor time on this rescue," he says. " I believe I have a plan that will work."

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore says through gritted teeth, "you are incapable-"

Harry cuts him off. "Severus is the reason I'm here. I won't fight without him."

Dumbledore regards him coolly for a long moment before saying "Very well. We shall discuss this plan of yours in my office." With that, he turns on his heal and strides out of a door on one side of the platform.

Harry turns to Sirius and Remus. "Will you help?" he asks.

Remus agrees immediately, and Sirius sighs heavily before nodding grudgingly and following Harry out of the Great Hall.

Dumbledore is already sat behind his desk when the other three men arrive at his office, hands folded under his chin.

"What is your plan?" he asks Harry without preamble.

Harry takes a seat. "Seeing Sirius and Remus made me think. Is Severus an Animagus?"

"No."

Harry bites his lip, frowning in thought. "Sirius and Remus were cursed to remain in their animal forms..." he muses. "Is there any way to force the transformation onto a person?"

"There is, but the spell requires a great deal of power," Dumbledore says.

"Could you do it?" Harry challenges.

"Not from this distance."

"How soon can your army move out?"

"We have been ready for quite a time."

"So we move out, get closer to Voldemort's fortress," Harry plans. "Fawkes can then transport us to Severus, and while I create a diversion you can force Severus to transform—we'll hope that his form will be something that can move quickly enough to either get out of the castle or reach Fawkes."

"And if it is not?"

"Then at least we tried," Harry says fiercely.

Dumbledore surveys him for long moments. "Severus would not wish for you to take this risk for him," he says calculatingly.

Harry shrugs. "I didn't want him to take this risk for me. Fair's fair."

* * *

><p>Dumbledore's army moves surprisingly quickly, and Harry is soon tramping through the forest once more, this time accompanied by the crowd from the Great Hall. He watches the sky anxiously, and grits his teeth whenever there is a even momentary pause. He walks beside Ron, and the red-head regales him with tales of his school years, his enthusiastic voice attempting to sooth Harry of his worry. It would almost have worked, too, if the stories weren't often tales of death.<p>

"My first year at Hogwarts, one of my teachers was a spy for Voldemort," Ron reminisces, and Harry glances at him with bemusement at his matter of fact tone.

"Oh," Harry says when it becomes apparent Ron is waiting for an answer. "Um... what happened?"

"Well, he was killed," Ron says, and Harry blinks at him, nearly tripping over a root in the process. "It's just..." Ron continues awkwardly, oblivious to Harry's surprise. "Snape was the one to accuse the spy. Not that I'm supposed to know that, mind. That's top secret. But... the way I figure it is, Snape's a greasy bastard, but you never leave a man behind."

Harry continues to do nothing but blink and walk for several seconds before clearing his throat loudly. "Right. Erm... thanks, Ron."

The army stops for a brief lunch, through which Harry remains standing, shifting from foot to foot restlessly while gazing at the sky and forgetting to eat. When they move once more Harry walks beside Dumbledore, determined to avoid loosing any time by searching for the man when it comes time to rescue Severus.

"I knew your parents," Dumbledore comments idly. "They were wonderful people, my boy. The world suffered a terrible tragedy when they were killed."

"Did you form them into soldiers like you have your current students?" Harry asks, voice hard. Dumbledore does not answer.

* * *

><p>Only once the day has begun to draw toward dusk does Dumbledore stop walking, nodding to Harry. "We are close enough that Fawkes can carry us both to Severus," he says, and the phoenix rises from his shoulder with a flash of gold, hovering over them both.<p>

Dumbledore withdraws a silvery cloak from within the vast pockets of his garishly purple robes and hands it to Harry. "This was your father's Invisibility Cloak. I believe it is time that it be in your hands. Wear it until you absolutely cannot."

Harry nods in acknowledgement and slips the cloak around his shoulders. "Take us to the dungeons," he orders Fawkes before slipping the hood over his head.

* * *

><p>The dungeons are smaller than Harry remembers, closed in rather than the insurmountable obstacle they had seemed while he was in a cell. The hole Harry had made in the wall has not been fixed, and he notices this with relief as he surveys the cells.<p>

"He's not here," Harry whispers to Dumbledore. "They must have already taken him outside!"

Dumbledore nods and turns, just as Harry tenses at the sound of footsteps reaching the bottom of the staircase.

"Stop." a thin voice commands, and Harry whirls in the Invisibility Cloak to see a thin blond boy of his age pointing a wand at Dumbledore.

"Draco," Dumbledore nods calmly. "Your absence was noticed at Hogwarts."

The wand shakes slightly, and Dumbledore raises an eyebrow. "Have they left you to guard empty cells while they take care of business?"

"No," the boy says defiantly. "I wanted to come here. Thought you might show up."

"I'm sure it has nothing to do with avoiding bloodshed," Dumbledore assures, and just as smoothly flicks his own wand negligently in Draco's direction, disarming him wordlessly. "A word to the wise, Draco," he says. "It is always best to incapacitate one's opponents as soon as one has the chance." With another flick of his wand, Draco slumps to the floor, apparently unconscious.

"I suspect Severus has been taken to the courtyard," Dumbledore says to Harry conversationally, moving past him to stand in front of the whole in the wall. "It is outside this wonderfully convenient hole, is it not?"

"Unh, yes," Harry answers hesitantly, stepping past Draco to stand with Dumbledore.

The sun is setting as they push themselves up, to stand at the back of the courtyard, where a crowd is gathered around a raised platform at the other end. Harry gasps when he sees Severus laying in a heap before a man he can only assume is Voldemort, but finds his way blocked by Dumbledore when he moves to rush at him.

"Wait, my boy," Dumbledore says. "I must perform the spell, and it would not do to draw undue attention to ourselves."

Harry steps back into the shadows beside Dumbledore, shifting with impatience and listening with gritted teeth as Dumbledore begins to mutter the spell just as Voldemort speaks.

"Severus," the man on the platform says. "You have been revealed to be a spy for Dumbledore. Do you refute this?" Severus makes no reply, and Voldemort grabs him by the hair and forces him to his knees. "You know what the sentence for traitors is, don't you, Severus?" he asks, voice a terrible parody of concern. _"Don't you,_" he repeats harshly when Severus makes no sound.

"Yes, my lord," Severus answers, and Voldemort smiles and drops him, satisfied with the capitulation.

Dumbledore's muttering quiets abruptly, and Harry clenches his hands as he stares at Severus, practically vibrating with repressed rage and worry.

"My loyal servants," Voldemort announces grandly, his Death-Eaters an avid audience, "be reminded of what happens to those who think they can betray me." He steps backward, away from Severus, withdrawing a wand from his robes. Harry leans forward, watching as Severus' form starts to shiver, starts to fade and coalesce into something smaller, but not nearly quickly enough.

"Avada-" Voldemort begins, and then pauses as, with a pop, Severus' form changes into a raven, standing proudly on two feet before the Dark Lord and his followers.

Without stopping to think, Harry throws off the Invisibility Cloak. "Fly, Severus, _fly!" _ he yells, running forward. "_Go!" _he screams as Dumbledore's hands land on his shoulders and Fawkes takes off with a shower of gold. "Fly away!"


	7. All Fall Down

**AN: I was going to wait and post this once I had the whole chapter written but...it's almost long already, and it's my birthday, so I decided I was entitled to the split.**

**All Fall Down**

For an army, their camp is surprisingly quiet. There are fires spread out among the group with clusters of people surrounding them, and every once in a while there's a burst of random noise from them, but on the whole the camp is calm in nervous anticipation, wondering whether their Chosen One's quest will prove worthwhile.

Harry sits inside the medical tent, watching but not really listening as Dumbledore whispers to a nurse for several minutes, huddling over the body of the raven.

Severus had finally reached the camp in the middle of the night, and had been immediately carried into the medical tent by Dumbledore. It is almost dawn now, and Harry bites his lower lip, studying the bird and willing Severus to change back.

"Harry,"Dumbledore begins, and Harry looks up quickly, startled out of his contemplation. "There is no spell to change Severus back. I had hoped that he would have the strength to will it to happen, once the situation had been explained to him, but Madam Pomfrey believes there to be...injuries that, while lessened of severity in this smaller form, are still causing Severus pain and sapping his strength."

Harry blinks, swallows. "What...what does that mean?"

Dumbledore sighs. "It means that Poppy will do everything she can to make Severus comfortable in his current form, but that Severus has to be the one to change."

"But, he can understand us, right?" Harry asks desperately.

"He can," Dumbledore answers.

"I... can I stay here? Keep him company?"

"I don't believe Poppy will mind your presence, but, Harry, do try to get some rest."

Harry flashes the Headmaster a smile that feels too heavy to be real. "Of course," he says.

Dumbledore puts a hand on Harry's shoulder and Harry lets it rest there for just a second, before Dumbledore walks out of the tent.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Severus..." Harry says, twisting his hands in his lap the next morning. "Didn't sleep much, cause of you. Again. Er... we don't have much time. I mean, for this. Dumbledore's making plans, and I'm supposed to follow. Like the good little soldier he expected me to be." He laughs bitterly. "I guess that part of his plan failed... was I what made his plan not work? Or...did <em>you<em> fail? I'd like to think it was the latter, actually. That you...got too invested, or something. Rebelled, as much as you could. Started seeing me as something other than my parents' son.

"My childhood...wasn't the best, you know that. I lived for those moments spent here. With you. And," he hurries to add, "Remus and Sirius too, of course."

Harry is silent for several minutes, before he huffs out a laugh and runs a hand through his hair. "God I'm crap at this. I just...need you to wake up, Severus. And I should be getting to Dumbledore now, just... please, okay? Please."

Harry tries to smile at the bird who watched hm with familiar dark eyes, then leaves the tent with his head down and shoulders hunched.

"Harry!" He looks up at the call of his name to see Ron waving at him from a group around the closest fire. With a wave of his own he makes sure the tent flap closes behind him and walks over to join Ron on his bench.

"Hey," Ron greets him. "Lunch?" He passes Harry a sandwich. "It's just bread and cheese," Ron says, shrugging. "Apparently good food isn't packed when you go to war."

Harry accepts the sandwich, eating it silently and staring moodily into the fire. He smiles in greeting when Ron's sister and Fred and George join them around the fire, listening as the twins tease Ron.

"Hey," he says suddenly, interrupting their chatter, "do you know someone named Draco?"

Ron blinks at him silently at the sudden change of subject, but the twins smirk. "Oh yes," Fred drawls. "Draco Malfoy."

"Evil little twerp," says George conversationally.

"Scum," Fred adds helpfully.

Harry is unsurprised at any of this.

"Used to have a bit of a crush on our Ginny," George says, elbowing his sister and mock-whispering at Harry. Ron growls, Fred glares, and Ginny picks at her sandwich. "Stop it," she says softly.

"What was that?" George asks her innocently.

"That was nothing," Fred says dismissively. "Ginny wouldn't be trying to defend the prat, after all."

George nods sagely. "He used to stalk her," he tells Harry.

"He did not!" Ginny protests.

"He _did. _He never took his eyes off you."

Ginny frowns.

"And you two would always be sneaking off together," Fred says, shaking his head in disapproval.

"We were friends," Ginny says softly. All of her brothers grimace in distaste.

"Like you could ever be friends with a Death-Eater," Ron growls. "Good riddance to him, I say, wherever he decided to piss off to this year."

Harry glances at Ginny, but she only continues to stare sadly at the ground. "I'm going to go find Dumbledore," he says hastily. "Thanks for the lunch!"

He wanders around the camp until he comes across Dumbledore, surrounded by a motley assortment of people. "Ah, Harry," Dumbledore says in greeting when he is spotted. "We are discussing the best plans of attack."

"Great," Harry says weakly, joining the circle.

"I still think it best to stay here, and wait for their men to find us," a dark-skinned man tells Dumbledore. "We have the upper ground if we stay in this area."

There are quiet murmurings of assent from the crowd, covered by the growl of a man with a fake eye. "Our troops will be over-confident if we stay here. They'll feel too secure and stop paying any mind to our weak spots. Constant vigilance!"

Harry retreats from the crowd, avoiding Dumbledore's eyes as he does so. He has nothing to offer this conversation, and so he makes his way back to the medical tent.

Madam Pomfrey is just leaving as Harry arrives, and she shakes her head when he asks her whether there has been any change in Severus' condition. "He hasn't changed back," she tells him, then hesitates and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Give him something to wake up _for,_" she tells him softly, and with a nod makes her way toward one of the fires.

"Right," Harry mutters, and walks toward the raven slowly. "So..." he muses slowly, taking his seat by the bed so he can look the raven in the eye, "I've been wondering...why _is_ a raven like a writing desk?"

The bird regards him but makes no semblance of an answer.

"So you still don't know," Harry says with a sigh and a nod. "Not feeling particularly desk-like then, I suppose."

Severus moves his foot impatiently, and Harry smiles. "I'm supposed to give you a reason to wake up," he whispers, leaning forward on the chair. "But I have nothing. I can't... I can't offer you _anything. _So how am I supposed to make you want to wake up?"

He settles back on his chair and crosses his arms, looking at the round. "You've given me the world, and I can't even make you want to be human."

He bites his lower lip and glances at the black eyes of the raven before staring determinedly at the ground once more. "When I was little," he begins hesitantly, "I used to want to come here all the time...wanted to come here to see _you._ I couldn't explain why it was you, in particular, because it started while you were still basically ignoring me, but there was something about you. There _is_ something about you...

"I used to have these...fantasies of here, beginning when I was eleven, I think. It was mostly my memory of that time I landed in Hogwarts, with the things you had told me about it. I used to dream that I had been accepted to the school, that I had been taken away from the Dursleys and given a chance at a childhood. You were there, too, always looking out for me. I..." he clears his throat uncomfortably. "I can remember my first wet dream... it was...was about you. At Hogwarts.

"When I grew up, when I stopped hoping that I would ever come here again, I used to still think about you. About how you talked, walked, thought. All of it. It's ridiculous, doesn't even make sense but you...intrigued me." He glances up again nervously, but finds himself unable to meet Severus' gaze. "Maybe..." he whispers, "maybe, the heart of love is curiosity. Maybe that's basically all there is. But I...I keep finding things out about you, and I just want to find out _more._" He flushes bright red and mumbles, "I can't stand it when other people accuse you of wrongdoing...I just want to defend you all the time, want to... protect you from the world, I guess, which is so ridiculous and stupid, but...there it is."

He leans forward once more, rubs a weary hand over his face. "I've wanted you for most of my life, and loved you for more of it. The memory of you made me want to live, despite all the stupid crap of life, and it's helped shape who I am, and it's been my dreams for longer than I can remember. That's it. That's what I have to offer. Someone who loves you. So come back and kick my ass for it, OK? I want you to change back, and play the part of Severus for the first time in your life and mock me for my feelings and just...live. Please."

He stands, hands twisting at his sides. "I'm going to rest up a bit, since there's nothing else for me to do. I'll sleep, in here, OK? I...don't want to leave you. But you don't have to worry. If you change back, I'll get out of here as soon as I know you're okay and you won't have to deal with me until—_if_ want to."

He shrugs, and hesitates for but a moment before making his way toward the bed closest to the one on which the raven lies.

* * *

><p>Harry is awoken several hours later by moans of pain emanating from the bed beside his, and he opens his eyes only to gape, wide-eyed, as he watches the raven's form shift into that of Severus. He tumbles out of bed a minute later, mind finally catching up with his eyes, and stumbles over to Severus, grabbing his wrist and sagging with relief when he feels the sure, steady pulse.<p>

"Severus?" he asks urgently, and at the sound of his name Severus rolls his bruised and swollen face to blink slowly at Harry through his good eye. "Ha...Harry?" he croaks.

"Yeah," Harry confirms shakily. "I'll...I'll go get Madam Pomfrey for you, OK? She'll make you feel better."

"Harry," Severus repeats, but Harry doesn't let him say anything more, already striding from the tent and calling for the medic.

* * *

><p>"Mate," Ron says, an hour later, "if you pace any more I'm going to get the twins to hold you down."<p>

Fred looks up at this and smiles lasciviously at Harry while George winks. Harry stands still immediately.

"He was awake, yeah?" Ron asks, and Harry nods.

"Then he's fine. Stop worrying."

Harry clears his throat. "Right," he says, and unconsciously turns and takes two steps to the side. Fred and George stand up, smirking, and Harry stops abruptly and rolls his eyes, only to whirl around at the sound of someone leaving the medical tent.

"How is he?"

'Mending," Dumbledore replies, smiling slightly. "He's asking for you."

Harry blinks in surprise. "He...he is?" he asks faintly.

"Yes, my boy," Dumbledore says, as Madam Pomfrey joins him at his side. "Make sure he takes the sleeping potion after you talk to him," she tells him, and they both move off to join one of the bigger groups.

Harry faces the tent in which Severus lays with trepidation.

Ron steps forward and claps him on the shoulder. "Just go," he says in exasperation.

Harry nods shortly, and then he squares his shoulders and lifts the flap to step into the tent.


End file.
